Pez and Noony go away

Sunset by the sea.

Night time camera fun à la Nick Howes.

Koh Phi Phi Ley (or “The” Beach “island”)

You have a woman’s legs, m’Lord!

View from the “beach” beach.

The Japanese really know how to party.

What we really didn’t want to show you. The other tourists.

The only swimmer in the shark bay. Idiot.

In a bay for the day.

Our stone hut, a Noony and a kitten.

Our very own street prostitute.

Sleeping off a heavy, dirty night.

Dinner.

The pier to see-a the sea.

Beach trees.

Excellent for high fives.

Full of disco biscuits.

Patrick, good things come to those who tell us what the hell this is.

View, lol.

Just a very short note to say what we have been up to whilst you guys have been pushing through New Year blues. Boo.

Bangkok
We went back to Bangkok for four days after Chiang Mai and stayed at the beloved Atlanta Hotel once more. For those not familiar with this from our previous rambles, it is Bangkok’s oldest hotel and swimming pool and hasn’t changed in 60 years. The little black kitten we left in October has now grown into a slightly larger black kitten and is still as ruthlessly cheeky chasing shadows and ankles. They also have a new recruit; a little puppy who liked to sleep on the sun loungers with you. His tag said “rabies free”, it’s a really crap name for a dog.

We spent a day in the commercial district and ploughed through about 6 malls, ranging from top end (there was a Ferrari in the window of the 10th floor) to absolute bottom knock-off tat (the fake iPhone 4s looked too good to be true). We bought more things for our house, which technically hasn’t been bought yet, and our backpacks are now brimming with paper umbrellas, lanterns, lights and other horrifically flammable objects.

We had a little run in with the police that day and taken to their police hut, but that is another story for home. Parents reading this, don’t fret, police love bribes and we are free again.

Krabi
We took a sleeper train for the first time as we encountered tourists with horror stories of the night buses and have vowed not to travel that way again. We forgot how train stations and airports differed, so after getting there two hours early to ‘check in?’ we boarded the train and made our way to the bar as there was more room… and drink. We met an American couple who are making their way to Seoul to teach English. They were only 23 and already had been married for six months. We spent a good few hours chatting with them before making our way back to our bunks. It was surprisingly clean and comfortable, even though we had the top bunks. Neither of us slept much but I think that had something to do with the beers, rather than the train.
We got into Surat Thani early in the morning and then took a bus for 3 hours across Thailand to Krabi. When we arrived the bus dropped us miles out of town and the taxi driver insisted our hostel was 60 Km away. We were not fooled and instead called the owner to come pick us up, it was only about a 20 minute drive.
Our hostel was really lovely, we had booked a fan room but the owner (a very gay German guy called Olli, who stood on one leg, waved one hand while the other sat on his hip, and in a high pitched tone exclaimed “Alles Clar!” [sic.]) upgraded us from the bamboo bungalow to a stone one with air con for no extra charge. We also had a deck and a pier over a private beach where you can swim only when the tide is in. When the tide goes out the area is covered with wildlife and millions of different crabs. We even saw a strange creature that featured on the Guinness adverts a little while back, it looks like a cross between a frog, a lizard, a snake and a fish. Patrick, I insist you tell me what this thing is called (not so great photo to follow).
Krabi is a beautiful province of Thailand, we were out in the middle of nowhere but took a motorbike to town and the very popular Ao Nang beach. It was strange to see a Burger King, MacDonalds and a Starbucks amongst all the locals stalls selling beach tat.
Back at the hostel, Olli made a huge communal dinner both nights we stayed which was really delicious and a nice way to hang out with everyone there. Pez loved the food and had 3 helpings of chicken curry and rice. Although I realise most of our posts feature cats in some way, we must tell you about the kitten at this hostel. Olli had rescued her from the side of the road, where she was lying with her sibling who had been killed by a car. He doesn’t like the cat one bit but had to take her in anyway. He called her the Thai word for a female prostitute as she loves everyone and is a big flirt. Pez fell in love with her instantly and we both wanted to put her in our back pack. Olli said we could, but somehow I think travelling with a cat isn’t the best idea.

Koh phi phi
Early in the morning we took a ferry to Koh Phi Phi from Krabi port, and we knew that we may see Jean and Val, 2 people we had met at Halong Bay in Vietnam. Strangely enough we were picked up by the same tuk-tuk and travelled together on the boat. We spent 3 awesome days with them on Koh Phi Phi, despite it being the most expensive place we have been so far. There are no roads, so you have to catch taxi boats around the island and we were really lucky to find somewhere to stay for £25 a night, which is the most we have spent on a room so far. For over double that price you can get air con, so we just settled for a fan. We hired a private long boat with Jean and Val and ventured to the smaller uninhabited island of Koh Phi Phi Ley where you can visit “The Beach”, Maya Bay and some other empty bays for snorkelling and swimming. At the snorkelling bay we were happily spotting some small fish when the boat driver said, “Hey! Swim over there, there is a small shark you can see!”. His idea of small was 5 feet and I promptly sprang out of the water back onto the boat! This island was absolutely stunning, but instead of me rambling on about it we will just post the photos.

Koh Lanta
We then moved onto to Koh Lanta which is further south than Koh Phi Phi and about 50 times larger. The beaches are no where near as spectacular but there is a lot more to see around the island. We hired a bike again and spent one day travelling around the whole island. We stayed in a bamboo bungalow, and were frequently visited by amphibious friends. A huge lizard (without its tail it was a foot long) lived in the bathroom, which Pez didn’t believe, until he was about to take a shower and it ran across the wall. He yelped at the size of it and I spent the afternoon gloating, “I told you so!”. Each morning we were also visited by a frog in the bathroom. He must have been annoyed to be shunted out each day just to sneak his way back again during the night. Even though there were huge gaps for the creatures to venture in, there were no bugs and we had a mosquito net so neither of us were bothered. In fact, lizards are my new friends as they eat Mosquitos and moths!

Langkawi
Yesterday we arrived at Langkawi, an island off of Malaysia, and said our goodbyes to Thailand. Our resort is again a bungalow but we have air con and a swimming pool so it is much nicer. Already, we have noticed a big difference between Thailand and Malaysia. The language and food is heavily influenced by India and it feels less backpacker orientated, more a place for rich people to come on holiday. We do have free wifi here which we haven’t had for weeks so we can do the blog and upload photos again – hoorah!!

So, tonight is our last night in Thailand, we have decided to enter Malaysia tomorrow via boat to the island of Langkawi.

We have been rubbish with writing on the blog as internet on the islands has been rubbish and expensive, but we will write lots and put up plenty of photos to make you jealous when we find some wifi.

TT FOR NOW.

Internet here is rubbish, wifi non-existent, paying money for this so must be quick.

In paradise.

We are a stone’s throw from where ‘The Beach’ was filmed. We are going there tomorrow to draw Leonardo DiCaprio’s in the sand and let the sea wash his beautiful face away.

It looks a bit like this.

TTFN.

x

Banana feed fest leads to forlorn keeper.

Sugar-cane romp in Chiang Mai’s jungle.

Step ladder nightmare leads to trunkitis.

Elephant spine enters you upon movement.

Steeper than it looks.

They only responded to commands with swearing in it.

Washing dirty elephants of their nasty sins.

Squirt buggers.

We have spent the past 2 days in Chiang Mai in North Thailand. Although we have had an amazing time, we did none of the conventional things you are “supposed” to do here. We didn’t visit any temples or hill tribes, but instead, became at one with nature. However, Pez insists he became at least three with nature.

On Thursday we hired a motorbike to drive around the city and go to Chiang Mai zoo which we heard some great and not so great things about. I can tell you it was officially great. The zoo is built on the side of a mountain with lush greenery, streams and waterfalls and the animals have so much space. First, we visited the pandas, where they have successfully managed to breed and saw the 1 year old baby sleeping and it’s mummy munching on bamboo shoots and chunks of wood. It was so incredible I cried a little. Some of the other highlights were tickling a slow loris, feeding elephants and watching the array of primates in their open air play area.

We also went to two shows at the zoo. The first was the seal show, where they jumped through hoops, clapped, played basketball, did jumps in the water, balanced ping pong balls on their noses and other bizarre tricks. Although I am not sure how I feel about the animals doing tricks, I have to say it was bloody entertaining. They also were fed lots and lots of fish after every trick and looked really healthy so hopefully they enjoy it? The second show we went to was the zoo’s animal bonanza. At the start of the show a little pig ran out to pull on a lever that dropped a sign saying welcome to the show, then a big red bird slid down a zip wire to mission impossible music. Then 2 birds raced on little pedal bikes while an otter was picking up litter to put in a bin. As all this was going on a voice on the speakers was saying enjoy the natural wildlife show. I don’t think there was much natural about it. After the show, Pez got a photo taken with one of the birds on his shoulder, who then did a poo down his back. Revenge to the customers who watch this madness?

Yesterday, we had what was probably my best day travelling so far. We visited an elephant conservation centre where they have rescued 15 elephants from captivity and exploitation. Most of them were very healthy and happy since being at the park, but one who arrived last month is still in a sorry state. Physically, she is fine, but she was abused at a park that made her dance for hours on end so she still sways her head nearly all day. The carers are hoping that she will stop this soon when she realises she doesn’t have to do this for food anymore. First we got to meet all the elephants and give them food. My favourite was the female baby who was born last year. Although, she is huge in comparison to humans, she looks tiny surrounded by the enormous adults. Next, we practiced climbing on and off the elephants, which is very hard word by the way, and practiced how to guide them with Thai words to go, stop, turn left and right and lie down.

After lunch, we rode the elephants into the jungle. Pez and I were really lucky as we got Mamoon, the elephant with the 1 year old baby. I was at the front on the way up, being the “driver” and Pez on the elephants back as the passenger. When we got up the hill and climbed down for a break, the male baby was trying to mount our female baby. Being 1 year olds, they had no idea what they were doing, but he wouldn’t give up! The way down was very steep and hard to stay on but an incredible experience. When we got back to camp we took our elephants into the small lake for a bath. It was brilliant! The baby was so playful doing spins in the water and all the elephants spraying water everywhere. The babies loved having a water fight with the humans. At the end one of the carers had to stay in the water and collect all the elephant poop. I don’t envy his job!

We have woken up today with aching muscles, but it was all worth it.

Vang Vieng, the nicer side of town.

Bad Boyz I

Bad Boyz II, the communist’s revenge.

Luang Prabang, face temple.

Old hut full of shiny.

Carl’s evil twin brother, David.

Escher schmescher. He got nutin’.

The suspect, or the victim?

Dirty mares.

Noony gets arty with monky.

Supermarket.

Luang Prabang! Seven hours on a bus is fine. Seven hours on a bus 1000 metres high on mountainous windy roads that twists and turns like a… twisty turny thing? The drop off the side would have resulted in a slight twinge in your back, roughly forty yards from your head. 12 people neatly tucked into a minivan and 12 people crawled out at the end. Luang Prabang is very picturesque, small and quaint. We mooched around until we came to a mountain that claimed to be really high up and have ‘views’ of the city. 15 of the 400 steps up and Noony stopped, claiming to be dying. I think I annoyed her by running gleefully up the steps whilst my lungs silently burnt through my chest and my brain told me I was going go die. We didn’t. If anything, we made it to the top to find the promised view, some fighting squirrels, a deformed cat and pair of butterflies doing it. Tube to tube – they were at it like passionate mime artists. We took dirty, voyeuristic photos. Noony goes red just thinking about them.

We stayed at the top for just under an hour as we could see the landing strip in full view and i wanted the geek in me to watch a plane land. It did, and the squelch and screech of the tyres proved it. We walked down, didn’t die, and made our way to Joma, a fantastic cafe chain that is dotted around Laos. It is run by Laos people and some profits go back into the community. We have stolen their menu so if Noony’s dream of owning a cool cafe comes to fruition, we have a menu set exactly to what she’d want.

The weather wasn’t too good and it rained the day we wanted to go visit the waterfall and cave. But we had our flight for Thailand booked so regrettably we couldn’t stay longer. Shame. The cave looked really dark, they gave you candles to walk around. I was going to woo women to a candle lit dinner. All i needed was food and a blanket. And Noony to point out other pretty women for me.

I don’t know what it is, but the plane journeys are getting scarier and scarier. My logical head tells me that 40 flights a day and an untarnished track record for 13 years means that Laos airlines is safe. The pessimistic side tells me that when the horrific turbulence hits the small propellor plane, the engine whirrs down and it nosedives a few hundred feet and tilts violently to the left, its not a good idea to mock Noony as she recites the Hail Mary repeatedly.

In conclusion, propellor planes are bloody scary.

We are in Chiang Mai now. Thailand smells.

Really bad.

Goodbye Laos, you were wonderful.

Angkor Wat, Cambodia

Angkor Wat, Cambodia

Sokha Resort Beach, Cambodia

Dalat, Vietnam

Dalat, Vietnam

Marble Mountains, Hoi An, Vietnam

Imperial City, Hué, Vietnam

Halong Bay, Vietnam

Khong Phapheng, 4000 Islands, Laos

Luang Prabang, Laos

We departed from Williams house to start part 2 of our Asian adventure. The bus from Vientiane to Vang Vieng was only 5 hours so our shortest trip yet. We turned up at our guesthouse that we booked for £2.50 a night, and we got exactly what we paid for. It was a mess and on the ground floor where we couldn’t close the windows so we quickly left and found ourselves somewhere much nicer for only a pound more a night! The main attraction at Vang Vieng is “tubing” – getting in the inner tube of a tractor tyre and floating down the river. You can stop off on the way drinking at bars and swinging off ropes and zip lines. A health and safety nightmare. A woman died last month by missing the water and landing on the rocks.

The clientele were, luckily, our favourite type of tourists. Men who wear nothing but a t-shirt on their head and boxer shorts and calls anything that moves c***ts. Women who think they’re pretty enough to wear micro bikinis and walk in the middle of the road ignoring the traffic. These people don’t read up on where they are, ignoring any cultural rules and forgetting they are guests in a communist country. They stagger about with plastic buckets of cocktails and litter whatever they don’t need on them. The premise of getting pissed with your mates isn’t what bothers me. That’s fine. Its the ultimate lack of respect they have for their Laos hosts. The cheap guesthouse didn’t help either when in their guidebook their openly stated that taking opium or sleeping with prostitutes in the room is fine. This is viscous circle which will only get worse.

The mountain scenery was beautiful.

Anyway, we took a 7 hour bus further up north to Luang Prabang. All the people on the mini bus were griping about the same thing, although they were all in their fifties. I think that just means we’re… wise?

Luang Prabang looks just like Hoi An in Vietnam. Very picturesque and quaint.

Sorry, y’all for the lack of posts. We spent a lot of time at Wills so routine went out the window. Now that we are on the move again, its much easier to let you back into our lives.

Photos probably to follow.