So much has happened in the past four days…. So so much.

So we moved to a new hostel, The Beach Club Resort, and things were ticking along nicely. And then it happened. It was bound to happen. We had been in Asia for three weeks and things had been fine. It was all fine. Without going into any specific detail… we have both had utterly horrific traveller’s diarrhoea. Shameless, untamed, uncontrollable diarrhoea. In fact, it is still happening now, as I write. This is our fifth day. Noony said she thinks she’s dying and she can’t believe her end wouldn’t be in the two-way death pact at the old peoples home, like we’d planned, but on the toilet. Not a toilet. The toilet. Poor creature having to endure an ongoing nightmare. Noony and I have never been ones to discuss the final stages of peristalsis, but in the past five days we have discussed this more than marriage, babies, and which old persons home to do it in.

As you slowly regret having to read this and retch slightly into your coffee cup, don’t feel sorry for us. Noony may have the face of a lonely seal cub, but she is strong willed and know it will end soon.

We are trying to work out what it was. We never have the same meal which means it is either the ice in the drinks, the milk in the coffee, or the iron railings we licked on the way home from opium night at the karaoke.

I have had to tame myself as not to put you all off this blog forever, so I will have a thought for the day instead:

Talking to other travellers, of whom a vast minority are English, they insist of getting absolutely crunked each night and then recovering on a beach. Tattoos are prevalent. One Scottish nut job said he had trouble getting a visa because of his criminal record. This isn’t our scene. The clubs we have seen are the back of a parking lot with nothing but open buckets of cocktails for company. No, for the time being I have been just enjoying the scenery and company, (not sure what Noony’s been up to).

We are looking forward to Christmas at William’s house. He has been working in Laos for a few years now so he is pretty well suited for hosting us during the Christmas period. Noony would like a bicycle and i would like a xylophone for christmas. So if anyone wants to send us a card or something, it would be very nice. We won’t send one back. It wouldn’t feel right.